New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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