dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm having to shit out rocks
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