Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize