wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
