3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
