There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
