i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Fuck appropriateness.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
