i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
