hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
handjob tips. give me some.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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