Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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