Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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