Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
