I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
