I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there's paper in my vomit.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
