do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
