Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
