you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
