bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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