I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
