how can u be prego again
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
