So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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