: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We left the knife in your bed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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