and you said cock pushups were impossible
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I understand Curling. That high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
