Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he fucked my hip out of place.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need a beard to bite.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
