I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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