now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
