I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
