i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just cut my nipple shaving
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
