so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
