It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
