I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
