Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
