I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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