my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
