It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
