we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
