Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
