If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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