i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize