Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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