i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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