Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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