Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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