I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize