You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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