in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
