HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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