I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
