Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
