im having a threesome with these popsicles
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
