Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
