Whod you bang
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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