I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
