So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize