No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
