One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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