half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
