Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i believe in u and ur pee
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