So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
