If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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