Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
